20 Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someone
Whether you’re at a party, waiting in line for a concert, or on a date, you will find yourself in a lot of situations where you will be meeting people and trying to get to know someone! Although people will think it’s strange if you come prepared with a list of get-to-know-you questions, it doesn’t hurt to have some in the back of your mind to whip out during conversations with new people, or people who you sort of know and want to know better! Below we have provided a bunch of ideas for questions to ask when you want to get to know someone. The first half of these questions are great to ask when you’re first starting a conversation with someone. The second half involve deeper questions that are better suited to ask as the conversation progresses beyond the basics!
1The Basics Do you have any siblings?
Why this is a good question: Learning about someone’s siblings can give you a lot of insight as to how they were raised and what their family dynamic is like. For example, if they have a bunch of siblings, it might be safe to assume that family is a big part of their life. On the other hand, if they are an only child, they may have a smaller family network and be more focused on themselves rather than meeting obligations.
2What is your favorite hobby?
Why this is a good question: Asking about someone’s favorite hobby is a great way to get to know someone because the way someone chooses to spend their free time can tell you a lot about them. For example, if someone says that rock-climbing is their favorite hobby, you can infer that they are very adventurous and are excited by the opportunity to live life on the edge. This is also a great question to ask to get to know someone because you can follow it up with further questions about when they began their hobby and how often they have a chance to enjoy it.
3Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?
Why this is a good question: Different types of people prefer different places to live, so this is an awesome question to get to know someone. For example, if someone dreams to live in a very populated city like New York City, you can infer that they thrive in busy situations and enjoy having a lot of options when it comes to socializing. If someone would love to live in the wilderness in an obscure town, you can infer that they value their alone time and are very self-sufficient.
4Do you have any pets? If not, what pet would you have?
Why this is a good question: Although it would be hard to argue that all “cat people” or “dog people” always have specific traits, there are often certain characteristics that people who prefer certain types of animals have. Someone who likes cats for example, might embody characteristics like independence or being low-maintenance. Someone who loves dogs on the other hand, might characterize himself or herself as a “dog person” because they crave strong bonds, affection, and loyalty.
5What is your favorite food?
Why this is a good question: Someone’s preferences in food often reveal something about his or her lifestyle choice. If a guy says that he loves kale for example, he is probably very passionate about health and fitness. On the other hand, if someone does not have a favorite food because they love so many different types of food, they are probably a person who is open for experimentation and they probably are not super picky person.
6Do you have any hidden talents? If not, what would you choose?
Why this is a good question: The phrase “hidden talents” exists for a reason! These are the talents that someone doesn’t look like they would have, so this is definitely a great question to ask in order to learn something new about someone!
7How would your friends describe you?
Why this is a good question: This is an awesome get-to-know you question because it challenges people to think about how the people who know them best would characterize them. A natural follow-up question that could lead to an interesting conversation would be “do you think your friends’ descriptions accurately describe you?”
8What is your dream job?
Why this is a good question: Although most people get stuck having a job that simply pays the bills, everyone has a dream job that they’d love to have if nothing was standing in their way.
9What are your 3 favorite movies?
Why this is a good question: The movies that resonate with you can reveal a lot about your personality and life experiences. If someone loves horror movies, they probably have a fascination with the unknown and probably enjoy speculating about what is out there. If someone loves chick flicks, they probably spend a lot of time daydreaming about romance and find comfort in happy endings.
10What are 5 things on your bucket list?
Why this is a good question: If you’re not already familiar with the term “bucket list,” it is essentially a list of things that you would like to do before your time on earth is over. You can definitely learn a lot about someone by finding out what they hope to accomplish or experience at some point in their lives.
11Deeper Questions: Who is the person that has impacted you most in your life and why?
Why this is a good question: Everyone is shaped by their experiences, but usually there is one person who has had an incredible impact on shaping how you think about your life and the world in general. This is a very interesting question that can help you get to know someone on a deeper level because it forces people to pause and think about why they are the person that they are today.
12What is the worst experience you have ever had and what did you learn?
Why this is a good question: Whether this experience was a trauma or a cringe-worthy embarrassing moment, someone’s “worst experience” always has an impact on the rest of their life. When you ask this question, be prepared that the answer could be very serious and significant. As they say you should never judge a book by its cover—it is often surprising to find that some of the most “normal” people have overcome extremely challenging circumstances.
13Have you ever needed to forgive someone and why?
Why this is a good question: This is a great question to get to know someone because the answer will help you learn about how this person expects to be treated. For example, if someone describes the most profound time they needed to forgive someone as being a situation in which their friend canceled on a night out, you can infer that they are probably self-centered and dramatic.
14Have you ever needed to be forgiven for something? If so, what was it?
Why this is a good question: Everyone makes mistakes and there is no shame in admitting mistakes as long as you can apologize and grow from the experience. Apologizing can be hard when you’re embarrassed about your behavior, so you can definitely get to know someone’s integrity by learning about a time that they needed to humbly ask for forgiveness from someone.
15Have you ever had your heart broken and/or broken someone’s heart?
Why this is a good question: Depending on how recently the heart-break occurred, the person you are getting to know may be less forthcoming about the details of the experience. Having said that, everyone is at some point a heartbreaker or broken hearted, so it can be a profoundly bonding experience to swap stories about this topic.
16What is your biggest flaw?
Why this is a good question: Admitting weakness can be extremely hard, but sharing your flaws with each other is also a very raw and honest way to get to know each other better
17What do you think is the most important quality in a friend?
Why this is a good question: Who someone chooses to surround himself or herself with is profoundly revealing about their own character and experiences. Typically, people place the most value on qualities in which the absence of the quality made them feel worst. For example, if someone believes that honesty is the most important quality in a friend, you can infer that they have probably had an experience with a dishonest friend that made them feel worse than their experience with a self-absorbed friend.
18Do you have any family drama?
Why this is a good question: This is a deeply personal question. A person’s family dynamic, especially if there is drama involved, is a major factor that shapes who they are and who they want to be. This is a great question to ask if you are interested in understanding the origins of someone’s personality and outlook on life.
19What is your biggest regret?
Why this is a good question: Although you should strive to live a life without focusing on the “would of, could of, should of,” there is no person alive who doesn’t secretly have at least one regret! Wondering about what could have happened if you hadn’t made a particular choice is normal and it’s not surprising to find out that someone has a major regret; however, finding out exactly what someone’s biggest regret is definitely helps you get to know someone on a deeper level.
20What are your goals?
Why this is a good question: A person’s life goals can reveal a lot about them. For example, if a girl’s goal is simply to marry rich, you can infer that she cares a lot about material things and has probably never experienced the richness of true love.