20 Serious Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend – Compatibility Test for Couples
These 20 questions will help you determine if you and your boyfriend are on the same page in many areas. For most relationships to work, you have to have things in common with one another, and that doesn’t mean just hobbies. Being on the same page in the more serious matters of life is very important for relationships to survive. If you aren’t on the same page with some questions, if you are strong in what you believe, don’t change the fundamentals of who you are for a relationship that might not be worth it.
Where do you see our relationship going?
You need to be on the same page. If he is in it for the long haul but you are still just trying it out, it could turn into a serious problem. You wouldn’t want to break his poor little heart if you don’t see it going anywhere long term. If you both are just trying each other out or both in it for the long haul, perfect!
Have you told your parents about me?
This was mentioned in a previous article on Girlterest and we are mentioning it here again because of it’s importance to your relationship. This is a very good indication of how serious he is about your relationship. If he is distant from his parents or hasn’t talked to them in months this could be something else to talk about.
Why did you fall in love with me?
My boyfriend stopped me dead in my tracks when he asked me this question. I thought it would be easy to answer but it took me more time than I anticipated to come up with my answer. I didn’t want to give a typical “because you smart, funny, handsome…” answer. Challenge your boyfriend to avoid a typical answer as well.
Do you think we are compatible?
This goes along the lines of having enough things in common to form a lasting relationship. Do you listen to same or similar music? Do you like the same foods? Can you stand to listen to him smack his food for the rest of your life? That kind of thing.
Will both of us be able to achieve our goals together?
If your dream is to work for a green, save the earth law firm, and his is to work in the oil field it doesn’t sound like you could achieve your dreams together. This questions doesn’t have to be that severe. Say you want to write novels, will he be willing to financial support you until you make it big or vise versa?
What is your “American Dream”?
In other words, what do you want in life? Does he want to live in the city in an awesome flat, or in the country side? Does he you want to live in the suburbs and have a BBQ with the neighbors ever weekend during the summer? Or does he want to live in an RV and travel the country. American Dream can be anything and everything, but you both should want something similar in life. So figure out what you want before asking him. He may also need a little time to think this one over as well.
Do you want an open relationship or a monogamous one?
Hopefully, you already know the answer to this one! If not, it is vitally important. If you have opposite views one of you is going to get hurt. If you are willing to give up your open relationship ways for him that is a great sign. Love is sacrifice.
Would you ever consider divorce?
If you have strong religious views this could pose a possible problem. This question should not give either of you the idea that you can do whatever you want because you both don’t ever want to get divorced; but, it puts in perspective how he feels about marriage. If you have a strong will to fight through tough times and he has a “ehh, we tried” attitude, that could leave you in a painful pile of soaked tissues in the end.
When in the relationship is the right time for marriage?
He could answer in a variety of ways with this question, for example, many couples decide to live together before marriage. Maybe his answer will be “after we have lived together for awhile.” But it could also be “when you know you know.” It is a settling feeling for you as a serious girlfriend to know what he thinks!
Do you have a required dating time before marriage?
He says at least 5 years and you say at least 6 months, this needs to be addressed and quick. As stated before, love is sacrifice, if you know for sure he is “the one” you could come to a middle area agreement between 5 years and 6 months for your wedding date!
How many kids do you want?
This is for the serious of serious relationships! Serious, like you see an engagement ring coming very soon, serious. This is just a fundamental question that needs to be asked in every serious relationship.
Do you agree with spanking kids?
If the previous question left you feeling awkward, save this one for a latter date; but, this is also an important question that needs to be discussed before the nuptials.
What do you think your parents could have done better in their relationship?
This is a strong indication of what he will want to avoid in relationships, and you will want to help him avoid it as well. Whatever he answers, show him support and make a silent agreement with yourself or aloud with him to avoid that at all costs. It could be that his parents yelled when they fought instead of talking things through. Or it could be that they didn’t show enough affection toward one another.
What do you feel you are bad at in relationships?
This question can help you both find the weak spots in the relationship. Help each other with your weaknesses! After this question has been answered it could help you realize why he acts funny when you start making-out! He may think he is a terrible kisser.
What do you feel you are good at in relationships?
This question like the previous could answer a lot of questions you may have had before. Or validate that he really is great at “that thing!”
Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone before?
I knew my boyfriend had a girlfriend for two years before me. I assumed he thought he was going to marry her, why would you stay in a relationship for that long if you didn’t? When he answered yes, I wanted to cry, but I am so glad I asked. It is good to know the truth. Since I asked, he has told me a number of things to confirm that I am the one for him, which is so, so sweet of him.
How many sex partners have you have?
This may not matter to you at all, true love is true love! Still, if your relationship gets to the point where you are finally ready to take it to the most intimate level, you will know what to expect when you get there. You may need to take it slower for him if you are more experienced. This is a sensitive subject that may be embarrassing for you to discuss. If it is either of your first time, make sure the other knows.
Have you ever cheated on a previous girlfriend?
I’m not saying “once a cheater, always a cheater,” but if down the line you get a feeling something isn’t right, at least you will know to take it seriously. Be ready to answer the question yourself as well. Be sure to ask why and how it happened. The circumstances he was under may give you an invaluable insight.
Are you religious?
I think this question stands for itself why it needs to be asked. Many religious families don’t approve of relationships outside of their denomination or religion. You fundamental beliefs could also be very different.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Again, I tried this question out on my boyfriend as well. And again I wanted to cry for him. It is so upsetting to hear the story of how the love of your life’s heart was broken. I felt better knowing because it answered so many questions that have arose over the course of our relationship. For one, why he wants to wait a few years before marriage.